Sunday, January 15, 2012

Five Sentence Fiction

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Lillie McFerrin's Five Sentence Fiction
This week's inspiration word is "Your Choice" So I chose : Jubilant
 
The first flakes of the season floated down from the grey clouds, landing on the brownish grass and forming a thin blanket of white. Astrid watched from her bedroom window, dreaming of all the snowmen, snow angels and snow forts she'd soon be making. Visions of snowball fights, sledding and sucking on delicious icicles - smooth yet sharp enough to harm - raced through her mind in flashes and bursts. She wiped away the fog her excited breath had caused against the cold glass. Her mother's warning about icicles hanging from the car crossed her mind; Those are too dirty, stick with the clean ones, though Astrid wasn't sure how to tell the difference. 

18 comments:

rachelsink said...

Nice description. This would make a lovely first page entry of a novel, if it isn't already!

Lillie McFerrin said...

Now I wish I could go play in the snow! Astrid is such a fantastic name for this piece, too. I particularly love the flow and word choice in the third sentence. Great as always!!

Angie Richmond said...

Thanks for commenting Rachel! It isn't part of anything, not yet anyway :)

Thanks Lillie! Maybe one day you'll be able to play in the snow :) The name Astrid is from one of my favourite books - White Oleander.

Ruth Donald said...

Nice, Angie! I like the fog on the glass and the dirty icicles on the car. Is it, by chance, snowing on brownish grass where you are?

Angie Richmond said...

Hi Ruth. thanks for the comment. Yes, it is snowing but not on brownish grass...just on top of previously snowed..errr...snow :)

Jo-Anne (jtvancouver) said...

Great scene - I feel happy but chilly just reading it! Really liked your descriptions, especially the fog on the glass caused by her excitement.

Dana said...

I love this scene--you've done a great job of drawing the reader in. The whole time I was reading it, I was thinking about my four-year-old son; he's been begging me to let him go outside and play in the snow. :)

Daniel Swensen said...

Very evocative. You have a gift for descriptive language. :)

Angie Richmond said...

Thanks for all the comments Jo-Anne, Dana and Daniel! Much appreciated :)

spring days, new growth said...

I've never seen falling snow! I can see and taste it - well done!

Angie Richmond said...

Never seen snow falling? Oh my, you have to! It's beautiful :) Thanks for the comment!

Donna B. McNicol said...

I could envision the whole scene and really shared her excitement. Loved it!

Dasia said...

Interesting! I feel all chilly now - even though it's the middle of summer here ;)

Angie Richmond said...

Thanks Donna and Dasia!

Rod Tyson said...

Fun! - Makes me want to rush outside and pelt someone with a snowball ;)

R. J. Ropsen said...

This is a perfect story for the season. It really made me realize again why I enjoy winter so much. Well done.

Cara Michaels said...

She doesn't know about yellow snow? I was going to say 'dirty ice' but I think that might be a drug, lol. Great scene, Angie! :)

Angie Richmond said...

She's a rather dim girl :)LOL Thanks Cara!

And thanks R.J. & Rod for your comments!I'm glad I can share winter with you all.

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