Thursday, February 9, 2012

Grimm Brothers, Eat Your Heart Out!

This post is not about writing. Not even a little bit. It's about a girl and electricity.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl who suffered terribly at the hands of a monster. This monster was called Migraine and it enjoyed squeezing her eyeballs until they felt fit to burst. It was tragic and heart-breaking painful and she spent many hours hiding in her big fluffy bed with the blankets pulled over her head.

One day she felt brave enough to decamp and seek out a change of scenery. She found a lovely bed-like structure that was comfy enough to suit her, and a room full of exciting electrical appliances. She was most happy, for a time.

As she watched her favourite movie, Pride and Prejudice on Blu-ray and TV, she began to feel a little bit better and forgot all about Migraine. Migraine - like most evil monsters - did not like being ignored. He stomped around and rallied all those nearby, against the girl. Then POOF, it happened! All the electrical appliances turned against her, joining Migraine's evil plot to keep her helpless. They shut themselves off in rebellion.

The girl was most distraught. Her first instinct was to call her companion who was being kept away by the almost equally evil monster, Work. She picked up Telephone and pushed the tiny buttons, but alas, Telephone was in on the evil plot against her.

I know! She thought. I will use MacBook Pro. He has always been faithful.

But to her surprise, while MacBook Pro offered her his support, Internet Router did not. And thus she was unable to contact her companion. Sadly, she roamed the room in search of some comfort.

I know! She thought. I will enjoy the last bowl of soup.

But once again, she was foiled. The soup was cold and Stove and Microwave were being mean as well.

Brrrr! She thought. I am very cold despite my cozy sweater. I think I shall ask Furnace to provide me some heat. 

She walked up to Thermostat to call Furnace, but Thermostat just gave her a blank look and refused to call Furnace. 

This is most inconvenient! She stamped her foot, folding her arms across her chest. Migraine laughed and ran by, squeezing her eyeballs just for fun.

She doubled over, crying out in pain, while Migraine whispered with his electrical friends. 

I need some tea. She whimpered. Please Kettle, I beg of you! But Kettle laughed and nudged Migraine. Thick as thieves, they were.

Feeling defeated and wallowing in self-pity, she stumbled back to her bed-like structure - which was comfy but not nearly as much as her bed - and pulled the blankets over her head.

I will not taunt you ever again, Migraine. She whispered before falling asleep.

When she awoke an hour later, all the electrical appliances had decided to play nice again. She thanked them each a thousand times before setting off to make some tea.

The End.

The moral of this story is this:
We have become astoundingly dependent on electricity, so don't piss off a migraine.

Wait - WHAT?!


Ali said...

Owwww! All that and no tea to make it better? That sounds torturous! D:

Angela said...

Awww poor baby!!! To have your entire house in rebellion - that IS the stuff of a Grimm nightmare (especially amid a Canadian winter!)

So sorry about the migraine! Hope the monster is properly routed now!

Angie Richmond said...

It was very tragic! NO TEA! I think that was the worst part. I am happy to announce I've banished the Monsters :)

Thanks for the comments Ali and Angela!

Lisa Shambrook said...

Love the post Angie, if not the migraine!

Angie Richmond said...

Thanks Lisa!

Jennie Bennett said...

I am sooo dependent on electricity. It went out the other morning and I was hating life! made me wish I had a gas stove.

Anonymous said...

What a meany! And what a tale! I'm sure it was no where near as amusing while it was going on; but then again, most characters in the best stories would feel the same.


Angie Richmond said...

J.A. - I was thinking the same thing. I debated starting a fire, but I reasoned burning down the house was not a solution to lack of tea.

Gideon - I couldn't agree with you more ;)

Anonymous said...

Been there, done that. Finally, someone understands me! :-) Thank you for the chuckle.

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